If I played the fiddle

…

If I played the fiddle…

I’d be a badass

I’d play in a southern rock band

If I played the fiddle

…

If I played the fiddle

I’d carry it in a case that had patches on it from all the great places I’d been

I’d have a girlfriend named Susan and a Dog named Pierre

If I played the fiddle

…

If I played the fiddle

I’d kick out my toes like I were Irish and quick footed

I’d dance in circles and bob up and down from the waist

If I played the fiddle

…

If I played the fiddle

My friends would call me “Fiddle Tom”

Because I’d be a fiddle machine!

My parents would disown me for fiddling around

If I played the fiddle

…

If I played the fiddle

I’d only have one…

Because I’d never want to play second fiddle

I’d walk into electric blues bars like “this is what you been missing”

If I played the fiddle

…

If I played the fiddle

Fiddling would be my occupation

I'd ask folks to pay the fiddler

If I played the fiddle

…

If I played the fiddle

My hat would be schnazy and my shoes wooden

The stars would shine brighter

If I played the fiddle